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WHAT IS
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic Violence is a pattern of physical, emotional, and coerced
behaviors that one family member uses to exercise power and control
over another. Most perpetrators of abuse and battering are a spouse,
ex-spouse, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or lover. Most
often victims of abuse are women and children although men are abused
also. The abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial
and psychological.
Types of abuse include:
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PHYSICAL ABUSE
Hitting * Kicking * Choking/Suffocating
* Hair Pulling *Held Down * Biting/Scratching * Poking/Pinching
* Grabbing/Squeezing * Pushing/Shoving/Tripping * Tickling
* Spit on * Stabbed/Cut * Burning * Pushed out of car * Throwing
Objects * Dragged through house * Kidnapped
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VERBAL ABUSE
Yelling * Insults * Threats to hurt or kill * Criticizes
appearance * Constant blaming
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SEXUAL ABUSE
Rape * Withholds sex * Abuse if you refuse sex * Prohibits
use of birth control * Forcing pregnancy * Criticizes appearance
* Constant sexual demands * Forcing unwanted sexual acts *
Making demeaning sexual remarks * Forces cohabitation
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EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Isolation from others * Ridicule, put -downs * Manipulates
you (through lies) * Blames you for faults * Intimidation
* Criticism * Prevents you from going places * Uses money
to control you * Ignoring partners/silent treatment * Abuse
of pets * Monitors conversations * Acts jealous and possessive
* Makes constant excuses * Makes you account for time * Embarrasses
you in front of others * Make you feel "crazy"*
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FINANCIAL
ABUSE
Controlling money * Demanding an account for expenditures
* Destruction of property * Taking keys or purse
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Facts and Figures - Educating yourself about domestic violence
can often be the first step of ending the cycle of abuse in a relationship.
* What is domestic violence?
- Types of Abuse
* The anatomy and progress of an
abusive relationship
* Cycle of Violence - Limitations
to the Cycle of Violence
* Power and Control Wheel
* Why do partners batter?
* Why do victims stay?
* Treatment for batterers
* Myths and realities of domestic violence
* Statistics on partner violence
Safety Planning - It will help you and your children to
be safe if you develop a plan for your safety ahead of time. The
design of a safety plan is an ongoing process. It is a good idea
to review it periodically and keep it in a safe place where your
abuser is not likely to find it. If you need help creating your
personal safety plan contact WomenSafe, a trusted friend or another
survivor of abuse.
- Identify a variety of way to get out of your home safely and
practice your escape methods. Helpful hints: During an explosive
incident, try to stay in a room with access to an exit * Try to
sit in a room with a phone to call 911 * Inform law enforcement
if weapons are in the home
- Pack a bag with medications, important documents, money, keys
, etc. and hide it.
- Arrange a signal with neighbors to let them know when you need
help
- Devise a code word to use with your children, grandchildren,
friends, or others to indicate that you need the police
- Plan where you will go if you have to leave (even if you don't
think you will need to).
CHILDREN WHO LIVE
WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The effects of domestic
violence on children are severe and enduring. It is important to
allow your children to talk openly about their feelings and concerns
when the abuser's behavior is discussed. Children often::
- Show abusive behavior
- Are aggressively defiant or passively compliant
- Becomes passive, or withdrawn
- Has emotional difficulties
- Role reversal
- Have school problems
- Feel guilty
- Have weak or unhealthy interpersonal skills
WHAT TO
TAKE IF YOU LEAVE
- Driver's license or other I.D.
- Birth certificates for you and your children
- Money, bank books, checkbooks, credit cards, ATM cards, mortgage
payment books
- Social Security cards, insurance papers, medical records
- Abuser's Social Security number and license plate number
- Divorce and custody papers
- Copies of your protection orders or police reports
- Keys to house and car
- Medication
IMPORTANT TELEPHONE NUMBERS:
- Local Police Department
- WomenSafe/COPEline (1-888-285-5665)
- Legal Advocates
- County registry of protection orders
- Work Number
- Supervisor's Home Number
- Minister
DOCUMENT ABUSE:
- Keep a journal
- Take pictures
- Talk with a witness
- Get medical treatment
- File a police report
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP...
- Make a donation to WomenSafe, Inc.
- Share information about our services.
- Become a WomenSafe volunteer
- Invite us to speak at your next association meeting or function.
- Publicize the COPEline number and WomenSafe number by placing
WomenSafe brochures, posters, or other educational materials at
your church or place of business (all available
free fro WomenSafe)
- Plan a fundraiser for WomenSafe
Legal Options - Domestic violence is a crime. There are
many options for victims to take legal action against their perpetrator
in order to take control of their life. Legal options and court
proceedings can become overwhelming for victims in crisis. WomenSafe
offers court advocacy on behalf of victims of domestic violence.
* Ohio victim's rights
* Criminal and civil law
* How to obtain a civil protection order
* Stalking
* Legal services
* Options for ending your marriage
Disclaimer:
While domestic violence perpetrators are male and female, in the
majority of cases, 95 percent, the perpetrator is a male and the
victim is female. Therefore, for the purposes of clarity in the
following information the pronouns he/she will refer to the batterers/victims,
respectively. All information references heterosexual couples, however
WomenSafe recognizes violence can occur in all relationships. WomenSafe
offers all services to victims of domestic violence regardless of
gender, sexual orientation and to federal victims of crime.
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