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PARENTING
A
variety of educational opportunities are available to county residents.
Several agencies, including Ravenwood Mental Health Center and Catholic
Charities Community Services, offer parenting classes which teach
helpful skills. The Mental Health Association in Geauga County offers
a free parenting newsletter entitled, Parentalk, to county residents.
Each edition contains information on developmental milestones and
offers helpful parenting tips. Several county agencies also offer
workshops on parenting issues such as the "tween years". Check out
the Community News section of the site for more information on upcoming
events.
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WomenSafe
is dedicated to eliminating domestic violence in our community and
supporting its victims. WomenSafe offers presentations to the general
public, schools, businesses, agencies, churches, and senior and
youth organizations to learn about abuse-free dating, dynamics of
domestic violence, date rape, elder abuse, effects of domestic violence
on children, how to assess domestic violence, and how you can help
someone who is being abused. All presentations are free of
charge. For more information or to schedule a presentation,
please contact Andrea Gutka at 440-286-7154, Ext. 224 or via email
at agutka@womensafe.org.
BULLYING & Relational Aggression
Although educators have long been aware of the
problem of bullying, most research in the past indicated that girls
were not bullies. That was because bullying was originally defined
as physical aggression. Research now shows that girls can be just
as aggressive - although in more subtle ways. Girls use non verbal
means - such as spreading rumors, writing nasty notes, ridiculing
and ostracizing other girls as a form of bullying. This form, also
known as relational aggression, uses the weapons of social
manipulation on a "battleground of personal relationships". This
method of bullying also strikes directly at the goals that are most
important for developing female - social relationships.
These behaviors, while rooted in elementary school,
are more damaging and dramatic in the high school years. Victims
often suffer many long term consequences from the aggressive behaviors.
Emotional torment can lead to depression, eating disorders and even
suicide.
What Adults can do for
a Child that is Being Bullied
- Ask about it. Often, due to shame or fear, a
victimized individual doesn't alert an adult. Signs: sudden school
phobia, lack of friends, changes in friendship relationships,
fearfulness and anxiety.
- Contact school authorities immediately. School
administration should outline consequences for bullying and provide
ongoing monitoring.
- Further develop the social network of the child.
Participation in group activities will integrate the individual
into the social life of the school and encourage new and positive
friendships with other students.
What to do for the Child
who is the Bully
- Deal with the problem early to prevent long
term and more damaging behaviors.
- Talk with your child and be clear that you and
the school will not tolerate any more of these behaviors.
- Outline consequences should the behaviors continue.
- Utilize school administration, teachers and parents
and form a communication network.
- Praise non-bullying behaviors and appropriate
social interactions.
- Eliminate role models who demonstrate poor communications
in these areas. Remember that role models may include TV, movies,
video games and printed materials.
- Consider psychological counseling to assist your
child in developing socially acceptable interactions with both
male and female friends.
One excellent resource in this area is the book,
"The Friendship Factor - Helping our Children Navigate Their Social
World - and Why it Matters for Their Success and Happiness" by Kenneth
H. Rubin, PH.D.. Suggested skills for parents from this book include:
- Let your child decide whether taking part in
sport, club, or other school activity is truly important.
- Be aware of their friendships and relationships
with other students.
- If your child is abandoned by their friend, be
sympathetic.
- Foster their sense of security in your home relationships.
- Help your child step back and take a broader
view of malicious talk and behavior - including those happening
with peers.
- Generate discussions with your child.
- Teach your child to counter teasing and malicious
words with humor or any other useful tools they may have available
to them.
- Know the signals for bullying - both aggressive
bullying most often found in males, and relational aggression
and social manipulation more commonly used by females.
- Encourage your child to talk and provide many
opportunities for dialogue about these subjects in your home environment.
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